Dyson Mulqueen [formerly Lunan] + sometimes Banyay

Watching You

noreply@blogger.com (The Dyce) — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 19:43:00 +0000

We are watching you watch this blog.

Big Spoon, Little Spoon

noreply@blogger.com (Mulqueen) — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 15:16:00 +0000

2009 Man of the Year

noreply@blogger.com (Mulqueen) — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:14:00 +0000

Joining Forces.... but still pathetic

noreply@blogger.com (Mulqueen) — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 14:22:00 +0000

In a predictable turn of events, bloggers at two of the weaker interweb logs Jorkat.com and Sean-Erin.com have launched a joint offensive against the DML+B. Our foreign correspondents recently captured this image on the streets of Seoul. The DML+B shares your sadness at this unfortunate turn of events but does not feel threatened in the least.

At this time, the editorial team would like to assure our loyal reader (s) that this aggressive action will not distract us from our award winning, truth-based brand of journalism that you've come to depend on.

Good Times...

noreply@blogger.com (The Dyce) — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 14:00:00 +0000

...were had at the wedding this past weekend.

Best part about the weekend? The D enjoyed not having the L there.

Post your favourite absence from this past weekend in the comments.

The Fall of Jorkat.com?

noreply@blogger.com (The Dyce) — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 13:59:00 +0000

Go away.

Crotch Fireworks

noreply@blogger.com (Jordan) — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 11:52:00 +0000

Don't worry about it Mulqueen, I got this one. Leave it to the blogging professionals to embed video on this once glorious site. Have a look at SiteMeter in a week or so and you can thank me then.

Keep up the good work Banyay. Your magic touch is exactly what this blog needed to be taken to another level...and then pushed off a cliff.

If JorKat.com is the equivalent of Mullin's dong, then the DM+Sometimes B would clearly be Bachelor Party Jordan.

Crotch Works

noreply@blogger.com (Mulqueen) — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 15:09:00 +0000

Click here to watch Jordan shoot fireworks from his crotch. Be sure to turn your speakers up.

In other crotch-related news, this past weekend the D of the DML+B was knighted by Mullin. A disturbing but truly hilarious moment.

The Legend of Fat Mike

noreply@blogger.com (Mulqueen) — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 13:59:00 +0000

Fat Mike is getting married this weekend. There is no better way to honour this joyous occasion than to post a humiliating picture from his past. This photo is dated August 26th, 2002 almost 7 years ago today and was bravely smuggled into the country by the DML's special Hungarian associates. It is 100% unphotoshopped. He really was that fat. Thankfully he's had a few handsome years before he gets fat again and loses all his hair.

Joy Ride

noreply@blogger.com (Mulqueen) — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 16:21:00 +0000

Crazy story, Dyson and I found this golf cart bicycle thingy the other day and posed for a few photos in it. Then, we told Lunan and sent him the original pictures.... and he photoshopped himself into the photos and made up some stories for yet another fake blog post on jorkat.com. He is a true master.

Congrats Matty and Chrissy

noreply@blogger.com (Mulqueen) — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 22:00:00 +0000

The western world is celebrating today after learning that strong man Matty D proposed to his beautiful girlfriend Chrissy this past weekend. The event has once again affirmed the insightful observations of the DML+B which remains a powerhouse among internet web logs.

News of the brilliantly scripted moment on the 18th hole of a local golf course has spread like a wildfire around the globe, even reaching the isolated Korean blogging sensation jorkat.com. The editor at Jorkat is quoted by local media as saying: "This is almost the greatest day ever, second only to the time I went on a drunken joy ride! I'm so happy for them. The best part is that it will totally steal the thunder from from that other loser's wedding this weekend. And no for the last time I am absolutely not planning on flying back to surprise everyone. I am too busy fabricating stories and photographs for my blog."

Matty and Chrissy, we salute you.

The Many Sides of Jules

noreply@blogger.com (Mulqueen) — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 18:27:00 +0000

How could you not love a foxy lady who will pick her nose while stuffing 8 inches in her mouth? The world celebrates you today Jules. Happy Birthday and keep it classy!

Hitler Finds Out Michael Jackson Is Dead

noreply@blogger.com (The Dyce) — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 14:02:00 +0000

If you have the time, watch the whole video. The shock that Hitler expresses over the death of the King of Pop is moving.

Worst Blog Ever?

noreply@blogger.com (The Dyce) — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 20:25:00 +0000

Is Jorkat.com the worst blog ever?

Probably.

Talk About Foresight!!!

noreply@blogger.com (The Dyce) — Tue, 26 May 2009 16:51:00 +0000

The DML has once again rightly called out a totalitarian dictator and not had their warnings acted upon.

North Korea has once again conducted a nuclear test, and the DML was the first to predict it.

We did.

DM_B Core Values

noreply@blogger.com (Mulqueen) — Tue, 12 May 2009 14:47:00 +0000

First Plagiarism, Now Censorship

noreply@blogger.com (The Dyce) — Sat, 09 May 2009 15:35:00 +0000

Embarassed at the plagiarism charges levelled at them by a respected member of the DML, the authors of Jorkat.com have now decided that changing their version of the truth is the prudent course of action.

This comment was originally written as a warning that the rampant plagiarism on Jorkat.com has been uncovered. Now it appears as a watered down "I miss you so much" post. Shameful.

Seems like Jorkat is being published from dictatorial North Korea, not their supposed residence of democractic South Korea.

Suppressing the truth will get you nowhere. Suppressing comments on your blog will only incense your readership.

The Price Of A Sandwich

noreply@blogger.com (The Dyce) — Tue, 05 May 2009 17:32:00 +0000

Pusateris.

Because you can never be too expensive.

Butt Play

noreply@blogger.com (The Dyce) — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 13:39:00 +0000

So I'm in Korea and these kids are sticking their fingers up my butt and...

Cause of Global Warming Identified

noreply@blogger.com (Mulqueen) — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 14:36:00 +0000

Dear readers, Happy Earth Day!

A momentous breakthrough in the scientific community was made last night, as a major, previously unaccounted for source of climate change causing methane emissions was identified in Toronto. Methane gas is 21 times more potent than carbon dioxide as a contributor to the greenhouse effect so this discovery marks a tremendous opportunity to reign in emissions. The research brief from climate change scientist J Trau is below:

"2009/4/22 J Trau:
Ughhhh, last night we went for steak and then to the kings of leon concert so by the time we got home the red meat had been sitting in Sub’s stomach getting ready to break down. We got home got into bed and Sub let out some of the nastiest farts I have ever smelled. I was in bed trying not to breathe in through my nose and so my mouth was open and the fart was so strong and pungent it went into my mouth and I literally ate his fart casue it was so thick and noxious. I almost choked to death on fart."

The Beach Vacation

noreply@blogger.com (The Dyce) — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 21:59:00 +0000

While the L has been admiring the local Blossoms in North Korea, the rest of the DML has been hard at work covering the issues that matter.

Recently the D's beard decided to take a beach vacation with his assistant K, who just happens to look something like the L's A. (Any similarities are purely coincidental.)

The couple reportedly had a wonderful time on their trip, with the addition of facial hair a welcome bonus to the relationship that the K had never before experienced.

These snaps were sold exclusively to the DML by the D, for what has been reported as the highest price ever paid for a picture of the skinniest man in the world - a free burrito.

More vacation pictures to come in the future.

Inspirational Mullets

noreply@blogger.com (Mulqueen) — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 18:03:00 +0000

Apparently the D's impressive mullet (above left, DML archives July 2008) is inspiring a whole new generation of Asian mullets. The two examples below were spotted during the DM_formlerly L's recent travels around little Korea in Toronto. One of the mulletted kids bore a striking resemblance to Monkey Begin... you be the judge.

Drinking With White People

noreply@blogger.com (The Dyce) — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 13:38:00 +0000

We've all met bad people before. Some of us are even bad people ourselves. Some of us even listen to Madonna on a regular basis. But there is one thing that I cannot stand: shortening my paragraphs! I mean come on, who cares if what I am writing looks like the most pretentious stew of written diarrhea to ever escape someone's mouth. I now have my very own website with my very own captive audience that actually thinks I am in Korea. The limits of this are endless.

NEW PARAGRAPH (see how easy it is?)

So I am out at this club in Korea (or Montreal, I mean nobody has ever really confirmed that we actually left the country in the first place) and this chick comes up to me and starts getting in my grill. I start thinking of all of the things I can say to her, all the things that I have always wanted to say to a woman, but was just too afraid of getting knocked out by a retaliatory blow to my 113 pound frame. So I called her the C word. Little did I know that the Material Girl does not take too kindly to this form of communication. So I did it again. I mustered all of the courage that I could get out of my 140 pound (soaking wet) body, and released the F bomb on the Erotica woman. Looking out of the corner of my eye, the silhouette of GGGGGGGGG gyrating his oh-so-good-looking butt on the dance floor made me temporarily lose control of the situation. Seeing her opening, Madge cold-cocked me right between the eyes.

Hours later I was awoken to the sounds of my own body convulsing from choking. Standing over me were my wife KA and this little man dressed in a too-small set of Habs pyjamas. Clearly the Yellow Dust that I had been living with (not the Meth that I had recently become addicted to - another story) for the past couple of days had taken its toll on my respiratory system. As the grogginess settled from my eyes, I said goodbye to Lyle Overbay and the little Habs midget and got to my feet. Little did I know that Mrs Ritchie had taken her shoes and walked/climbed/rubbed all over me (or was it my wife?)

Anyways - St Patty's day came and went without anyone saying that my wife's outfit looked ridiculous. I mean how ridiculous is it wearing green on St Patrick's day in Montreal?

I'm out of here. Got to go head by Golf Town to get my rocks off.

The Continuing Fall of Jorkat...

noreply@blogger.com (Mulqueen) — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 12:39:00 +0000

Readership at jorkat.com has gone down the drain as web surfers grow increasingly disillusioned with the blatant plagiarizing and loquacious retelling of stories on the original Mullosky and White Man in Korea blogs.

Jorkat's Rival?

noreply@blogger.com (The Dyce) — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 23:58:00 +0000

The crack research team at the DML has come across this piece of InterWeb real estate.

White Man In Korea

Coincidentally this blog was found by googling "White Man In Korea". Whoever says Google doesn't return EXACTLY what you are searching for?

L - we recommend you read the site and make contact.