In movie news, Sean Mullin, a Korean national hero and hockey team 08, softball team 09 recruitee, has been cast to play Indiana Jones in the fourth installment of the blockbuster action series. Apparently the original Indiana Jones, Harrison Ford, at age 66 has simply become too old for the younger audiences to relate to and was challenged by the physical demands of the role.
Replacing the legendary actor who defined the Indy character will be no small task for Mullin, whose most notable previous hollywood accomplishment was dating Jennifer Garner. When asked why they cast Mullin over big name hollywood stars, George Lucas responded: "Well, our first priority was to get someone who could grow a beard so that immediately excluded Toby McGuire and Tom Cruise. Brad Pitt's agent said he was too busy looking at himself in the mirror and raising the 13 children he stole from developing countries so that really only left Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. Matt turned down the role, citing moral disagreements or some other bullsh*t, while Ben was unable to read some of the more complicated words in the script. So, we settled on Sean because he looks good infront of the camera and we figured those long arms of his might make up for his lack of acting experience."
Steven Speilberg also added "Yeah, and his salary demands were quite reasonable. All he asked for was a lifetime supply of Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer, fresh cheese every day he was on set and a breast to occasionally suckle. He's a very bizzare man but his enthusiasm for the things he loves is contageous. He spent hours the first time we met him expressing the joy that the Indiana Jones series brought him as a young boy growing up in the suburbs, recalling the finest of details in the movies that even George and myself had missed."
Graciously accepting the offer, Mullin excitedly declared: "Any proceeds from the movie or associated advertising campaigns will be donated back to the great team at the DML for helping to launch my acting career. Also, I would like to thank Doug and say hi Josh!"
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