Mullin in Korea

Quoting from that other travel blog, with appropriate word substitution...

"Mullin in Korea can be obnoxious, loud, in your face and usually involves an absurd amount of noise and environmental pollution. That said, there’s something oddly comforting about the fact that he's unapologetic about how loud, vile and annoying he is. There is very little that is subversive or scheming about him (well, with the exception of a lot of advertising... geared toward women… scary stuff). Quite simply Mullin competes to be the loudest, most plastered ... in public space and often even resorts to driving around the neighbourhood with megaphones advertising his product."

Another New Word

Using Big Words Makes You Appear Smarter

Mullin: the length of your diction has no relationship to the length of your manhood.

The New Indy

In movie news, Sean Mullin, a Korean national hero and hockey team 08, softball team 09 recruitee, has been cast to play Indiana Jones in the fourth installment of the blockbuster action series. Apparently the original Indiana Jones, Harrison Ford, at age 66 has simply become too old for the younger audiences to relate to and was challenged by the physical demands of the role.

Replacing the legendary actor who defined the Indy character will be no small task for Mullin, whose most notable previous hollywood accomplishment was dating Jennifer Garner. When asked why they cast Mullin over big name hollywood stars, George Lucas responded: "Well, our first priority was to get someone who could grow a beard so that immediately excluded Toby McGuire and Tom Cruise. Brad Pitt's agent said he was too busy looking at himself in the mirror and raising the 13 children he stole from developing countries so that really only left Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. Matt turned down the role, citing moral disagreements or some other bullsh*t, while Ben was unable to read some of the more complicated words in the script. So, we settled on Sean because he looks good infront of the camera and we figured those long arms of his might make up for his lack of acting experience."

Steven Speilberg also added "Yeah, and his salary demands were quite reasonable. All he asked for was a lifetime supply of Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer, fresh cheese every day he was on set and a breast to occasionally suckle. He's a very bizzare man but his enthusiasm for the things he loves is contageous. He spent hours the first time we met him expressing the joy that the Indiana Jones series brought him as a young boy growing up in the suburbs, recalling the finest of details in the movies that even George and myself had missed."

Graciously accepting the offer, Mullin excitedly declared: "Any proceeds from the movie or associated advertising campaigns will be donated back to the great team at the DML for helping to launch my acting career. Also, I would like to thank Doug and say hi Josh!"

Disturbing Mulloskey Art

Korean Scouting Report

-Seoul, Korea-

Hockey Team 08 and Softball Team 09 prospect Sean Mullin was in fine form yesterday in local club action, shutting out the reigning champions, the Insadong Itaebitawongs. Mullin's Ansan Golden Showers took an early lead in game seven of the hardfought championship series and never looked back.

Said Mullin after the game to reporter and former child television celebrity Gary Coleman, "I would like to thank my fans for their undying support through some difficult times this year" referring to the untimely release of some provocative photos that landed him in deep trouble with the local media.

Mullin's athletic success has been attributed to excessive consumption of Pabst Blue Ribbon Honey Beer combined with a rare medical disorder that has left him with unparalleled arm length. According to teamates, he can basically touch anything within an eight foot radius (demontrated above as he unsuspectingly fondles Coleman).

His impressive wing span also earned him national attention this winter during a daring rescue from the freezing cold waters of lake Baikal, Mongolia. Mullin has since become a national hero in Korea, widely respected among bare-faced Koreans for his Jesus-like appearance and for dating Jennifer Garner behind Ben Affleck's back.

Contract negotiations will continue leading up to Mullin's return to Canada at the end of August.

...and he might look like Jesus

Check out the incredible fresco painting we saw in Moscow recently. I didn't realize those disciples were so handsome and how much Jesus actually looks like Mullin. Blows my mind.

Alias?

This picture is real.

"The scenery was that of a snowy wilderness. Snow, trees and more snow. The Siberian Taiga forest is vast, seemingly endless and vaguely hypnotic. This was interrupted occasionally by huge factories and small villages, both metres deep in snow. We even saw a nuclear power plant… very Alias."

Does anyone under 35 even watch this show? Is it even on the air still? Do you think J-GAR changes the radio station whenever a J-LO song comes on with Ben in the car? So many questions.

Lets throw this out to our readers for their feedback:

Who's more NOW - Post-prego J-GAR or Post-prego J-LO?

Elephantitis of the Arms

Has anyone else noticed how gigantesque Mullin's arms are?