Ace and Gary are going Skydiving!

They should be naturals.

Number One Winner

Thank you for your votes. Thank you Mom and thank you Jesus. Victory would not have been possible without all of your support. It was an honour just to be nominated with my esteemed colleagues, we're all winners here.

Softball Season Starts Soon!

GET EXCITED!

Flattery is an Invitation to Ridicule

From: Douglas Peck

Date: Apr 24, 2008 1:03 PM

Subject: Gold Gold Gold

"OMG what a treat [blah blah blah] great work with the blog...so good, keep it going, and keep it going strong!"

Engagement News!!

The DML congratulates Jules and her giant Hungarian on their recent engagement.

Does anyone know why that creepy guy in the background is so happy?

Alias?

This picture is real.

"The scenery was that of a snowy wilderness. Snow, trees and more snow. The Siberian Taiga forest is vast, seemingly endless and vaguely hypnotic. This was interrupted occasionally by huge factories and small villages, both metres deep in snow. We even saw a nuclear power plant… very Alias."

Does anyone under 35 even watch this show? Is it even on the air still? Do you think J-GAR changes the radio station whenever a J-LO song comes on with Ben in the car? So many questions.

Lets throw this out to our readers for their feedback:

Who's more NOW - Post-prego J-GAR or Post-prego J-LO?

New Links

Check out the new links on the right side of the page.

Next time you're out dogsledding in Mongolia and feel the urge, make sure you check out the DML.

Important Safety Advice for those Travelling on the Transiberian Railway

From all of us at the DML, please take care of yourselves and eachother.

We Robot

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year to the folks over at www.sean-erin.com

Hope this year is as good as the last.

It's Monday!!!!!

It's Friday!!

From all of us here at the DML, have a nice weekend. Especially our loyal readers in Australia, Nunavut, Wyoming and Texas.

Awwww Yeahhhhh to the power of 10

Awwww Yeahhhhhh

Doppelgänger?

Wow, I can't believe Mats Sundin and Lyle Overbay attended the same beach party and have the same poor taste in eyewear!!

Who Wins?

Now that the DML has risen to become one of the most respected names in news, it's time to take a look at the composite parts of this publishing behemoth.


Lunan Corporation

For 29 years Lunan has been working in a sweat shop in his family run business. The burns on his arms, hands, shins and buttocks are all evidence of his hard work and fascination with hot metal.


Mulqueen Family Funeral Directors

Know someone who is dead or dying? Try out these seasoned pros. They stuff your loved ones like a thanksgiving turkey.


Dyson Vacuums

Insert mandatory sucking reference here.


Is there a clear winner here? Comments? Complaints? Candy?

The DML Salutes Judes

"This would be an appropriate time to express our warmest (literally) thanks to Erin’s mom Judy. Before leaving for Korea she insisted (despite my protest) on buying Erin and I down hardcore MEC jackets (seen above). Without these amazing coats, we surely would have frozen to death in Mongolia or Siberia, or Korea for that matter. THANK YOU JUDY - you are the best!" - Mulloskey Adventures Abroad, April 10, 2008

Mulloskies Save friends from Freezing Lake Baikal, Siberia

Fighting frigid cold temperatures, Mullin uses his extra arm length to save DML and friends from the frigid water. What a gift to the world that man is!

Scorpion Cobra Juice - In Texas?

Not quite, but close enough...

A Texas man is facing charges for selling liquor without a license after he was found peddling bottles of vodka containing dead baby rattlesnakes.
Bob Popplewell, who runs "Bayou Bob's Brazos River Rattlesnake Ranch" tourist attraction west of Fort Worth, was believed to be selling the vodka in the Asian community, where snakes are seen having aphrodisiac properties, state authorities said.
Popplewell faces misdemeanor charges for not having a liquor license but will not be charged over the 10-inch (25-cm) baby snakes in the bottles.
"I've been with the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission for 20 years," Sergeant Charlie Cloud said. "This is the most bizarre thing I've been involved in."
In some of East Asia, parts of snakes and other animals are thought to have medicinal qualities and are used to make soups, powders and other preparations. In Vietnam, for example, the serpents are added to bottles of rice whisky and wine.
Authorities confiscated 411 bottles of the vodka, which Popplewell was selling for $23 each.
Popplewell, also the state's largest exporter of live turtles to Asia, declined to comment.

Nanners on the Bachelor

Welcome to Week 4 of "Nanners on the Bachelor", its a play on words. Even if you're not a fan of the show, or have never watched it, I can assure you that you'll find her elegant prose entertaining. I think we can also all agree that reading about some english dude trying to nail 25 broads is much more worthwhile than reading about China, foot massages and how Mullin is tall and weird looking. Enjoy.

When in doubt, whip’em out.

We had a few surprises tonight which involved breasts, a shocking rejection and a small meltdown.

Let me briefly outline tonight’s episode:

The group date: This was a stereotypical British setting of tennis and tea. Robin our nut job and future serial killer featured on “48 Hours Mystery” put on a fake British accent to try and impress our Bachelor. It was pretty bad….in particular, her conversation about how her parents “searched the world to find the bestest tea maker in the whole wide world” really got under the other girls skin. Somehow, this attempt at being part British proved to be successful as she was not sent packing last night.

On the group date Chelsea and Malibu Barbie decided to have a gymnastics competition in their skirts. Good one girls, your flexibility and your underwear left a lasting impression on Matt. You may want to keep them around for the overnight dates…

Next, we had Meeps (Amanda) which I don’t think that I had mentioned that she hiccups when she gets nervous… she really held her own on her one on one date. Maybe she didn’t have time to hiccup since she was busy sucking face with our smitten Bachelor. My prediction says this broad makes it to the end…just keep putting out Amanda…I’ve heard that before...

Last but not least, we had our two on one date where two beauties battled it out for Matt’s undying attention. TBC-token black chick (Marshana) and Holly our innocent childrens’author both told Matt that they would immediately pack their belongings and relocate to London without a question. Later, we were able to witness TBC nearly swallow the Bachelor whole in her romantic one on one kiss by the fire. Evidentially, he really enjoys taking risks in life…it was a close one folks…we nearly lost him there. To our amazement our thin lipped Holly was sent packing…I guess her mouth just isn’t big enough for what Matt has in mind.

I would have to say that the highlight of the evening was at the cocktail party just before the rose ceremony when our lush Kelly decided to whip out her breasts mid-convo with Matt. Ladies, when in doubt just whip them out. It’s appropriate in any public setting and especially when you are trying to win over the man you could potentially marry. Lay off the booze my friend…at least for national T.V… Your pole and your Vodka will be waiting for you when you get home. Bye bye little booze hound.

Unfortunately, in addition to sending our lush packing our little songwriter/singer Ashlee, was sent home too. I am always confused when I sing on every date and I never get a call back. Maybe she can take her hurt and anger and turn it into a tragic love ballad and promote her music in subway stations and hotel lobbies all over the world. I do give her a pat on the back to be able to sing while having an emotional breakdown on camera. That is true talent.

Ace and Gary back with NKOTB for the Reunion Tour!

Thanks go to loyal NKOTB fan Jordan (aka reigning Corrupt Cup champion) for this hot newsflash, confirming a rumour that's been circling the interwebnet for weeks.

The End

After 4 consecutive Corrupt Cup Championships (previously the John Kordic Memorial League and Tumbro Memorial Cup), Jordan Lunan has announced his retirement from Fantasy Hockey. Rumour has it that Mulqueen is already lobbying to fill the vacant position in the league, but nobody is really listening or wants him involved. Jordan will be sorely missed and is considered by everyone as the greatest Fantasy Hockey GM in the history of the universe. His statement released to the press earlier this morning is below.

"When I lose the sense of motivation and sense to want to prove something as a basketball player, it's time for me to move away from the game of basketball"
Michael Jordan Oct. 6, 1993

It's with a heavy heart that I am formally announcing my retirement from Fantasy Hockey in order to pursue a career in Fantasy Football.

I'd like to thank my family first and foremost for their patience throughout my career and for supporting me through this difficult decision. I'd also like to thank Commissioner Dyson for his leadership and all of the participants throughout the years that made this league possible. But mostly, I'd like to thank the players that I drafted, traded for and/or signed for helping me achieve the success that I enjoyed over the past 4 championship seasons. Thanks for the memories.

Jordan

aka Puma Swede, Jerry Krause, Sex Panther & GO HABS GO!

Russian Toilet Humour

Brook catches Jordan looking at his weiner. Actually, Jordan's laughing at all the money that he and Brook just took from Sub and Lawless in the hockey pool. I was left out of this fun... as usual.

GhengiSub and Adorable Babies

Check out this incredible statue we saw in Mongolia. The resemblance to Sub is uncanny.




Also, check out this billboard. Strange that they would have western babies on a billboard in Mongolia... but damn those are some handsome youngins.