Welcome to Week 4 of "Nanners on the Bachelor", its a play on words. Even if you're not a fan of the show, or have never watched it, I can assure you that you'll find her elegant prose entertaining. I think we can also all agree that reading about some english dude trying to nail 25 broads is much more worthwhile than reading about China, foot massages and how Mullin is tall and weird looking. Enjoy.When in doubt, whip’em out.
We had a few surprises tonight which involved breasts, a shocking rejection and a small meltdown.
Let me briefly outline tonight’s episode:
The group date: This was a stereotypical British setting of tennis and tea. Robin our nut job and future serial killer featured on “48 Hours Mystery” put on a fake British accent to try and impress our Bachelor. It was pretty bad….in particular, her conversation about how her parents “searched the world to find the bestest tea maker in the whole wide world” really got under the other girls skin. Somehow, this attempt at being part British proved to be successful as she was not sent packing last night.
On the group date Chelsea and Malibu Barbie decided to have a gymnastics competition in their skirts. Good one girls, your flexibility and your underwear left a lasting impression on Matt. You may want to keep them around for the overnight dates…
Next, we had Meeps (Amanda) which I don’t think that I had mentioned that she hiccups when she gets nervous… she really held her own on her one on one date. Maybe she didn’t have time to hiccup since she was busy sucking face with our smitten Bachelor. My prediction says this broad makes it to the end…just keep putting out Amanda…I’ve heard that before...
Last but not least, we had our two on one date where two beauties battled it out for Matt’s undying attention. TBC-token black chick (Marshana) and Holly our innocent childrens’author both told Matt that they would immediately pack their belongings and relocate to London without a question. Later, we were able to witness TBC nearly swallow the Bachelor whole in her romantic one on one kiss by the fire. Evidentially, he really enjoys taking risks in life…it was a close one folks…we nearly lost him there. To our amazement our thin lipped Holly was sent packing…I guess her mouth just isn’t big enough for what Matt has in mind.
I would have to say that the highlight of the evening was at the cocktail party just before the rose ceremony when our lush Kelly decided to whip out her breasts mid-convo with Matt. Ladies, when in doubt just whip them out. It’s appropriate in any public setting and especially when you are trying to win over the man you could potentially marry. Lay off the booze my friend…at least for national T.V… Your pole and your Vodka will be waiting for you when you get home. Bye bye little booze hound.
Unfortunately, in addition to sending our lush packing our little songwriter/singer Ashlee, was sent home too. I am always confused when I sing on every date and I never get a call back. Maybe she can take her hurt and anger and turn it into a tragic love ballad and promote her music in subway stations and hotel lobbies all over the world. I do give her a pat on the back to be able to sing while having an emotional breakdown on camera. That is true talent.
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