It's Official.

We have some unfortunate news to report today. One of top secret DML spies captured this photo yesterday of our former friend FLAP. As you can see from this grainy photograph, his exact location is difficult to describe, but according to our spy we believe he's either auditioning for the Village People, or he is so sad and lonely in London that he decided to join the navy for male companionship. In the immortal words of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, "He's Queer!".

Questions That Deserve Answers

It has been some time since there was a post on the DML worthy of the high standards that were adhered to in the late 70s. Could it be that the M, L, and Sometimes B have all been neglecting their journalistic duties?

The L has been busy gallivanting around La Belle Province while the rest of us common peasants are out slaving away, trying to earn a decent living.Remember L, gondolas are not always the safest modes of transportation...

Perhaps living at home with his parents and having every meal spoonfed has gotten to the L's sense of what is acceptable in society.


When was the last time the L actually made a meal for himself? Isn't the L married? Why is his wife in another province? When will the Growing Pains reunion air on television? These are the questions that are not being asked.

Why does the M have to travel to exotic destinations such as Belize in order to sample the finest foods known to mankind? What is the secret that the M is hiding? Is the antidote to his sickness spending 2 hours with his next meal? The M needs to know that life will go on without him, and the D's heart will go on. (Leo x2)

And since when was a flooded basement a nuisance? The Sometimes B now has more storage room, as items belonging to others have now been "liquified." Besides, that pool he have always wanted is now available for instant enjoyment.

Remember - neglecting your obligations to society is never the right answer.

And to answer the question that is on everyone's mind - yes there are more pictures of Leo out there.

4:20, Inauguration Day

*Full disclosure: Not photoshopped by Mulqueen*

The One

*Full disclosure: Not photoshopped by Mulqueen*

MashUp for Mulqueen

The M turned 31 this weekend. In honour of this milestone, an historic potato-off was held at a birthday brunch... the results were outstanding. In the end, the jury was too overwhelmed with flavour and stuffed with potato to make a decision. Petato versus Spudrina round one ends in a draw. A rematch is imminent.

The King of Salami

The jury has unanimously spoken and the 2008 Best Salami Lunchie Award goes to.... Dyson.


Congratulations to the D for this remarkable achievement.

Back In The Good Old Days

Apparently someone forgot what Photoshop is.

Perhaps this could help you out.

Happy New Year!!

The canvas: A pile of snow on the roof of Lawbury's condo.

The palette: Copious amounts of red wine, beer, vodka and champagne.

The brush: My unit.

The result: A beautiful testament to my secret crush.

Merry Christmas from Lunch Email TM

For those of you wondering what I do at work these days, this little compilation should provide some excellent insight.

Lunch Email TM Pictures, in association with I'm Bored Studios is please to present...

Can you tell the difference?

One of these is the sometimes B's ridiculous looking dog, one is a polar bear in it's natural habitat and one is the L in his natural habitat.  Nature is so confusing.

Don't Trust Monkeys

They will steal your lunch.

And people wonder why my car is always spotless...

It's also nice to know that Hams and the Sometimes B have something to fall back on in terms of employment if the financial world continues to collapse.

This is why YOU should comment

You may get to verify a funny word.

The Lunch Email

Deep inside the bowels of the interweb, there exists an institution that some say is as highly regarded as the birth of Google. This time-honoured tradition known as The Lunch Email TM has been chronicling the lunchtime appetites of many fearless participants for many, many days.

Recently, a select team of Lunch Email TM members met at The Black Camel to celebrate our Lunch Email successes, mourn the absence of our missing members, and of course: eat. The consensus coming out that meeting was that The Lunch Email TM is stronger than ever, and The Black Camel makes some mean sandwiches. Go eat there.

From the DML to The Lunch Email TM - bon appetit. This lunch is for you.

The pic below was captured by an anonymous paparazzi that has been positioned outside of the Black Camel for months, in hopes of capturing this most prized of candid shots.

(Pictured from L-R: D, Hams, M. Missing: L, Sometimes B)

Before and After...

In order to commemorate the D's birthday, we thought it would be fitting to show some old photos from the archive of the M's mom. Better known as Ms. M, is shown above shortly before delivery (of the M) along with her remarkable weight loss and return to her usual habits (below). She certainly is one of a kind and bares a striking resemblance to the D.

Happy Birthday D. You and the L truly are a great human beings.

Beep

Memories...

How do I say goodbye to what we had?

The good times that made us laugh

Outweigh the bad.

I thought we'd get to see forever

But forever's gone away

It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

I don't know where this road

Is going to lead

All I know is where we've been

And what we've been through.

If we get to see tomorrow

I hope it's worth all the wait

It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

And I'll take with me the memories

To be my sunshine after the rain

It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

And I'll take with me the memories

To be my sunshine after the rain

It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

Boyz II Men, Cooleyhighharmoney (1993)

God gave us Mullin...

... and his long arms to spread love and work miracles in the kitchen.



Continuing The DML's good news reporting streak, today we would like to take a moment honour the very honourable Chef S. Mullin for his contributions to good times and culinary enjoyment.

Inspired by the many flavours of Korean food he experienced over the past two years, Mullin has returned to North America with a cooking vengeance. Korea has been in a period of national mourning since losing Mullin's talents in late August. He was a national hero and it will probably be years before Koreans fully recover from their deep sadness.

What makes his story truly incredible is that he has been able to overcome the contraversy surrounding the release of provovacative photos in a popular woman's magazine last year. Close friends say that he has since transformed himself fundamentally by reaching out to Jesus for guidance. Amazingly through the process he has actually come to bear a remarkable resememblance to Jesus, to which some attribute his assention to the top of the cooking world. God and Doug only know.

Back in Mississauga and in the Greater Mississauga Region, Mullin's return has created a stampede of excitment . Supported by his trusty sidekick, Rowdy McC , and armed with a mighty beard, strong ideals and an unparalleled ability to identify and describe the food he loves, Mullin is lighting up taste buds across the continent. Most recently he was spotted working miracles on the grill in the parking lot at a Buffalo Bills game (seen above).

Chef Mullin could probably even make ML's stupid guitar taste delicious.

For all this greatness, the DML salutes you Chef S. Mullin.

Charitable Forces

The DML would like to take a moment from our relentless and cutting-edge reporting to recognize two genuine do-gooders.  Led by the dedicated efforts of Ms. JB (aka Big Time Lawyer) and Mr. PB (aka Fatrick Reach-around), this past weekend saw single-night charitable fundraising records obliterated.  

From his vacation home in Florida, occasional DML contributor sometimes B applauded JB's fundraising efforts for women with eating disorders.  As a morbidly obese hungarian woman, sometimes B is hopeful that the funding will help other young woman establish a healthier relationship with food.

That same night across town, Coach PB gathered close friends for a night of music and celebration to raise education funds for his friend in Tanzania.  Former celebrity, now balding washed up rock star ML (aka loser of the worst blog-off ever) belted out tunes, while guests fought over blind auction items, notably the amazing culinary talents of the long-armed chef Mullin.

Political parties are already lining up to court these two incredible fundraising masters, in preparation for the next general election (early 2009).  Said political organizing guru, the D of the DML, "Obama's fundraising records in this past US election will be small change in comparison to what these two will accomplish when they join forces for a lucky political party."

Married Life

The D, after much rummaging around through the M's and L's garbage and laundry, found some very interesting clothing labels.

Check out the evidence below...