Talk About Foresight!!!

The DML has once again rightly called out a totalitarian dictator and not had their warnings acted upon.

North Korea has once again conducted a nuclear test, and the DML was the first to predict it.

We did.

DM_B Core Values

First Plagiarism, Now Censorship

Embarassed at the plagiarism charges levelled at them by a respected member of the DML, the authors of Jorkat.com have now decided that changing their version of the truth is the prudent course of action.

This comment was originally written as a warning that the rampant plagiarism on Jorkat.com has been uncovered. Now it appears as a watered down "I miss you so much" post. Shameful.

Seems like Jorkat is being published from dictatorial North Korea, not their supposed residence of democractic South Korea.


Suppressing the truth will get you nowhere. Suppressing comments on your blog will only incense your readership.

The Price Of A Sandwich

Pusateris.

Because you can never be too expensive.

Butt Play

So I'm in Korea and these kids are sticking their fingers up my butt and...

Cause of Global Warming Identified

Dear readers, Happy Earth Day!



A momentous breakthrough in the scientific community was made last night, as a major, previously unaccounted for source of climate change causing methane emissions was identified in Toronto. Methane gas is 21 times more potent than carbon dioxide as a contributor to the greenhouse effect so this discovery marks a tremendous opportunity to reign in emissions. The research brief from climate change scientist J Trau is below:


"2009/4/22 J Trau:
Ughhhh, last night we went for steak and then to the kings of leon concert so by the time we got home the red meat had been sitting in Sub’s stomach getting ready to break down. We got home got into bed and Sub let out some of the nastiest farts I have ever smelled. I was in bed trying not to breathe in through my nose and so my mouth was open and the fart was so strong and pungent it went into my mouth and I literally ate his fart casue it was so thick and noxious. I almost choked to death on fart."

The Beach Vacation

While the L has been admiring the local Blossoms in North Korea, the rest of the DML has been hard at work covering the issues that matter.

Recently the D's beard decided to take a beach vacation with his assistant K, who just happens to look something like the L's A. (Any similarities are purely coincidental.)

The couple reportedly had a wonderful time on their trip, with the addition of facial hair a welcome bonus to the relationship that the K had never before experienced.

These snaps were sold exclusively to the DML by the D, for what has been reported as the highest price ever paid for a picture of the skinniest man in the world - a free burrito.

More vacation pictures to come in the future.

Inspirational Mullets

Apparently the D's impressive mullet (above left, DML archives July 2008) is inspiring a whole new generation of Asian mullets. The two examples below were spotted during the DM_formlerly L's recent travels around little Korea in Toronto. One of the mulletted kids bore a striking resemblance to Monkey Begin... you be the judge.

Drinking With White People

We've all met bad people before. Some of us are even bad people ourselves. Some of us even listen to Madonna on a regular basis. But there is one thing that I cannot stand: shortening my paragraphs! I mean come on, who cares if what I am writing looks like the most pretentious stew of written diarrhea to ever escape someone's mouth. I now have my very own website with my very own captive audience that actually thinks I am in Korea. The limits of this are endless.

NEW PARAGRAPH (see how easy it is?)

So I am out at this club in Korea (or Montreal, I mean nobody has ever really confirmed that we actually left the country in the first place) and this chick comes up to me and starts getting in my grill. I start thinking of all of the things I can say to her, all the things that I have always wanted to say to a woman, but was just too afraid of getting knocked out by a retaliatory blow to my 113 pound frame. So I called her the C word. Little did I know that the Material Girl does not take too kindly to this form of communication. So I did it again. I mustered all of the courage that I could get out of my 140 pound (soaking wet) body, and released the F bomb on the Erotica woman. Looking out of the corner of my eye, the silhouette of GGGGGGGGG gyrating his oh-so-good-looking butt on the dance floor made me temporarily lose control of the situation. Seeing her opening, Madge cold-cocked me right between the eyes.



Hours later I was awoken to the sounds of my own body convulsing from choking. Standing over me were my wife KA and this little man dressed in a too-small set of Habs pyjamas. Clearly the Yellow Dust that I had been living with (not the Meth that I had recently become addicted to - another story) for the past couple of days had taken its toll on my respiratory system. As the grogginess settled from my eyes, I said goodbye to Lyle Overbay and the little Habs midget and got to my feet. Little did I know that Mrs Ritchie had taken her shoes and walked/climbed/rubbed all over me (or was it my wife?)

Anyways - St Patty's day came and went without anyone saying that my wife's outfit looked ridiculous. I mean how ridiculous is it wearing green on St Patrick's day in Montreal?

I'm out of here. Got to go head by Golf Town to get my rocks off.

The Continuing Fall of Jorkat...

Readership at jorkat.com has gone down the drain as web surfers grow increasingly disillusioned with the blatant plagiarizing and loquacious retelling of stories on the original Mullosky and White Man in Korea blogs.

Jorkat's Rival?

The crack research team at the DML has come across this piece of InterWeb real estate.


White Man In Korea

Coincidentally this blog was found by googling "White Man In Korea". Whoever says Google doesn't return EXACTLY what you are searching for?

L - we recommend you read the site and make contact.

The Fall of the L Continued...

The Little Merman

http://jorkat.com/2009/03/15/our-school/

Lunan on the Little Mermaid:

" I will concede that I did enjoy it and that it remains my favourite Disney movie to date. As a result I may or may not know the lyrics to every song in the movie and I may have recorded a video of me singing one of these songs while intoxicated and posted it on YouTube. Don’t bother looking for it as it’s set for private viewing"

Where We Live

Thought I would put up a post about our new place -the Updown Court Estate.

It's not much, but we get by.

Check out the tour video below.

*UPDATE* Because of the massive traffic caused by our linking to the video mentioned, YouTube has ceased to work properly. Check out the updated video tour below. Enjoy!

Betrayal

In a shocking twist of events, the L - formerly of the DML - has moved to Korea and turned his back on the D, M and Sometimes B. A loyal DML subscriber captured this recent photograph in the Seoul-Incheon International airport where the L, assisted by a shady "Mr. Kang" character, was attempting to sabotage the venerable DML institution. The D and the M were too shaken up to comment at the time of publication but in a terse response, Sometimes B simply had this to say: "The L is now dead to me."

The DM_Sometimes B will most definitely exact revenge. Stay tuned...

...and boycott http://jorkat.com/

Right in the Ah-Seoul

Jorkat, being lewd.  Thankfully this kind of behavior is now acceptable in Korea, thanks to the pioneering efforts of Mullin.

Beep

The Bachelor Killer

Beyonce the Pony: killer of single men.

Jules Got Her Pony

Why Beautiful Women Marry Less Attractive Men - UPDATE!!

In order to commemorate one of the biggest upsets in relationship history, we decided to go back into the archives and retrieve one of the best, and most accurate posts this site has produced. Congratulations Sub for proving us all wrong and convincing such a beautiful woman to marry you. Jules...um...I like your hair in that picture.

Women seeking a lifelong mate might do well to choose the guy a notch below them in the looks category. New research reveals couples in which the wife is better looking than her husband are more positive and supportive than other match-ups. The reason, researchers suspect, is that men place great value on beauty, whereas women are more interested in having a supportive husband.

Researchers admit that looks are subjective, but studies show there are some universal standards, including large eyes, "baby face" features, symmetric faces, so-called average faces, and specific waist-hip ratios in men versus women. Past research has shown that individuals with comparable stunning looks are attracted to each other and once they hook up they report greater relationship satisfaction. These studies, however, are mainly based on new couples, showing that absolute beauty is important in the earliest stages of couple-hood, said lead researcher James McNulty of the University of Tennessee. But the role of physical attractiveness in well-established partnerships, such as marriage, is somewhat of a mystery.

Hey, as long as Lyle Overbay keeps playing solid defense and hitting .300 he can date all the hot asians he wants.