Former teen hearthrob Michael Lawless has been devasted by career-ending rapid hair loss. The combination of dreadful combover with unibrow and molester moustache has left audiences sickened, cutting short his most recent tour after the crowd repeatedly chanted "pussy" when he broke into tears.
Good friend and reigning Nascar champion Dyson offered his thoughts on this tragic turn of events: "I really used to look up to the guy, modelling my own mullet after his beautiful locks. Now, all I see is a shiney head and sad attempt at compensation on his face. He should be truly ashamed for letting himself go like that, particularly with his upcoming nuptuals"
Rumour has it that Lawless is planning a comeback tour on the weekend of July 25 - 28th. Stay tuned to the DML for tonnes of updates leading up to this event.
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2 comments:
Dad?
Dyson is damn handsome with a mullet.
Lawless. Hideous.
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