Elephantitis of the Arms

Has anyone else noticed how gigantesque Mullin's arms are?

It's Friday!!!

Sadly, this picture didn't involve any photoshopping whatsoever.

Ace & Gary - the DML salutes you!

Ace, Poo & Gary

Look who else showed up at the Ger Stay.

Who needs parka's when you look this good?

Don't get too close with those white suits fellas.

Nanners on the Bachelor - The Talent Show

Welcome to Week 2 of "Nanners on the Bachelor", its a play on words. Even if you're not a fan of the show, or have never watched it, I can assure you that you'll find her elegant prose entertaining. I think we can also all agree that reading about some english dude trying to nail 25 broads is much more worthwhile than reading about China, foot massages and how Mullin is tall and weird looking. Enjoy.


Just a few things to note from last nights episode.

Last night was group date night. Half of the girls were required to be in a fashion show for Matt while the other whores back at the house, found out they were going to Sin City with our charming Brit.

From the ladies stand point, this is an opportunity to show the Bachelor, your other lady friends of the house and millions of viewers the following.

a) You will definitely let him tongue you the first chance he gets such as Ashlee the scrony singer/songwriter from Florida….and you will never believe it….”. Ding Ding Ding we have a winner!….What do we have for her Johnny?” It’s the “I stuck my tongue in your throat and I will look like a dick if I send you home rose.”

b) Group dates are also another fabulous opportunity to show what a good singer you really are. After all music is the international language of love. Most North Americans sing to their dates to win them over. This is not a Bollywood film ladies. What the f*%k is up with these broads just belting out these love ballads that they have written themselves? Our creepy red headed friend wasn’t going to last long anyway, but she really put the nail in the coffin when she started singing somewhat of a Disney like creepy love song about him touching her. Note to self, when feeling the urge to belt out a creepy love ballad on my second date with a guy, I should probably hold off until at least the third date.

c) In addition to showing your abilities to sing and French kiss, you are also able to show the Bachelor and millions of viewers what a loose cannon you are. For example. Shayne the actress from Malibu gave a fantastic performance about wanting to leave and in fact pulled the Bachelor aside to address this matter as dramatically as possible. Although her pouting and temper tantrum seemed to be a turn off to just about everyone else watching, Matt decided to keep her around so he can get some solid ass before he sends her packing…she just seems like the type.

There was one pretty scary moment in last night’s episode. I think I became fearful when the Bachelor was alone with the token black broad. She kept hinting that she wanted a kiss but I was sincerely concerned that she may swallow him whole with that mouth of hers and this wack ass fashion designer would bring him back to Brooklyn with her. Matt trust me honey, you do not want to get all up in her grill. It was touch and go for a while there folks but no dice.

Last but not least we all love a good episode ending meltdown. Congrats goes out to our singing red head friend who was surprisingly not given a rose at last night’s ceremony. During her farewell meltdown to the producers after she got the boot, she openly admitted that she already had the “love of her life”…….Her cat. And I quote “I cannot wait to have her in between my legs again,” Yikes. It seems like to me that it will just be her and her purring pussy for a long time after that statement. Good luck on the dating scene.

Until next week bitches.

Nanners

Congratulations Miss Hungary

Congratulations Sub on being crowned Miss Hungary. Truly incredible accomplishment, particularly after the damage inflicted during that humiliating Mongolian / Muskokan fight club incident. Respect to your facial reconstructive surgeon (see transformation below).

Hi Katie!

Do you think your husband is working? Good question!

In some spare time I have been running the "Katie Internet Experiment".

Below is Exhibit A - picture you will find if you type "Katie Algate" into Google Image search.


Next we have Exhibit B - the picture you will find if you type "Katie Lunan" into the same Google Image search.

Conclusion:

Obviously Katie Exhibit A is much more appealing, as Exhibit A is a beer. Unlike Exhibit B, which is a person, Exhibit A is much more refreshing and enjoyable on a hot summer day.

Further Conclusions:

None.

DML goes to visit Gangus Khan

Dyson and Lunan share an inside joke on the trade ride from Beijing to Ulan Bator, Mongolia... as usual, I'm being left out.

Muskoka Fight Club

Here's a direct quote from a post on the Mulloskey website. Seeing as no one reads it, I figured I'd post it here for exposure to a much much larger audience.

"Beeeeeeeeeep. Sub here, avid reader, first time poster. I was almost speechless after reading the following comment:

'There was a bunch of Mongolian men wrestling and fighting with each other. It was like something out of Fight Club….

We knew we were very far from anything resembling the culture and social norms we were used to. '

Mullin have you seen the pictures from Lunan’s stag?? Have you completely forgotten your roots? Drunken wrestling is basically all we do (except for Mulqueen cuz he’s a pu$$y). Your heart should have been warmed with fond memories of your friends back home at the very sight of this disarray! For shame! Your pool team also sucks."

Well said Sub. I couldn't agree more, except for the part about his pool team and Mulqueen being a pussy. Even if Mulqueen was a pussy, he'd photoshop his head onto the Rock's body and make everyone think he's a stud, which he is.

Happy Easter Monday

I'm pretty sure Jesus died on Friday and came back from the dead yesterday, but I'm not sure exactly what he did on Monday. Ah well, here he is at a Bills game with Begin and Sub. GO BILLS!!

Doug Rocks the Cardigan

March 20th is also known as international wear a sweater day, in honour of Douglas Peck and the beloved and belated Mr. Fred Rogers.

The D-M-L salutes you and your fine sweaters.

Looking To Get A Tattoo On Your Penis?

I am, immediately after I wake up from this airport floor.

Some great insight here.

Enjoy!

Big Ass Rabbit versus Jesus

Who would win? Things to consider:
a) The rabbit has giant teeth and is really angry about his friends being tested on by the cosmetic industry. Have you ever seen the movie Watership Down? Scary stuff.
b) Magic aside, Jesus practices non-violence and would be slowed down by the berkinstocks he is wearing
c) The ceramic pots are in play.

Happy Birthday Rowdy McC

To know her is to love her. The D-M-L send a special birthday shoutout to the irreplaceable Erin McCloskey.
















(and special thanks to Rick and Judes for making her)

Those Crazy Airport Floors

So last night I was at this Andrew Dice Clay show, and I'm about to...

... and then BAM! I'm on the airport floor! What gives?


So I grow a beard, then pass out again because I've been driving around Singapore ALL DAY! After a couple of hours I wake up and realize that I'm NICK NOLTE!!!

My Boy

Hey Mullin, check out the stat line for Carcillo last night - 1G, +1 and 21 PIM's.

Then I got ripped off by a cab driver, had some beer and slept on the airport floor.

Dyson Mulqueen Lunan Climbed the Wall

And so can you.

Nanners on The Bachelor

Today marks the beginning of a weekly feature entitled "Nanners on the Bachelor", its a play on words. Even if you're not a fan of the show, or have never watched it, I can assure you that you'll find her elegant prose entertaining. I think we can also all agree that reading about some english dude trying to nail 25 broads is much more worthwhile than reading about China, foot massages and how Mullin is tall and weird looking. Welcome aboard Nanners!

If you have not tuned into the nine millionth season of the hit reality show “The Bachelor,”I urge you to do so next Monday.

For those of you who are not reality t.v junkies such as myself, there are a few things that you must know about the selection of the quality of people chosen to be on fabulous real life television. I feel it is my obligation as a junkie to fill you in on the process.

First, in order to be on t.v, the producers of the show will meet with you and put you under some sort of psychological assessment. In order to make a cast of 25 beauties, at least 15 must fail the psychological test by a significant amount. These are usually the homicidal maniacs scattered throughout the back row during the “most dramatic rose ceremony ever.” Some physical characteristics to look for in these “ticking time bombs” are things such as twitching of the mouth or the eyes, those who keep looking down and then when they look up they have an enormous fake smile on their face which is kinda erie. Just as a side note…always wait until the very end of the show where they catch the losing ladies on camera just in time to film their meltdown about how they thought he was “the one.” So far, no crazy meltdowns to report…let’s wait until they really start falling in love.

Secondly, there must be a few shy people in order to make the extraverts look like lunatics and circus freaks.

Thirdly, there is always a token black broad with a real attitude problem who would in her words like “to bring it bitch” The white women pretend that they aren’t scared of her but they all secretly sleep with knives under their pillows until about the 3rd rose ceremony when the black girl is always escorted out with a pissed off look on her face. By the way I am not racist, I have black family, I am just telling you that this is how the network roles.

Fourthly, they ensure that there is at least one girl that looks like she has a severe drinking problem. For example during last nights episode Stacy the voluptuous blonde with knots in her bleached blonde locks, chose to drink her body weight in champagne and proceeded to slip her underwear into the Bachelor's pants while he was engaged in conversation with another hopeful beauty. Her whorish like tactics left her baffled at the end of the episode. However, she did seem to handle her dismissal well since she was well rested after her nap or shall I say "pass out" half way through the meet and greet party. Now I question why he would have dismissed her so quickly? Could it have been her underwear which she removed and tried to shove down his pants mid conversation? Was it her groping and champagne guzzling that turned him off? I thought the Bachelor was looking for someone fun? Why is this Brit so uptight?

Last but not least, last night’s episode gives hope to all the hot dog vendors and beer can eating women of the world…You too can find your Prince Charming.…they don’t discriminate…I am really hoping that the hot dog vendor makes it as far as possible without telling the 6’5 financier from London that she actually sells street meat for a living.

For the ladies who did witness last nights episode of the Bachelor please fill in the blanks for any pertinent items you feel that I have left out.

Until next Tuesday, I will sign off and say farewell bitches.

Waking Up

Getting out of bed in the morning is quite a pleasant experience. Especially when I think of all the good times that were had yesterday watching Rocky and eating ketchup chips.

Ah the memories...

Monkey Begin

The Tradition Continues...

Until next year, Happy St-Patrick's Day everyone.